Dress code Dictator

"women that know their rights never marry."

Context

A few weeks ago, the Vice Chancellor of my university released a memorandum reminding staff and students alike of the standard and mode of dressing, also giving the lecturers and professors the power to refuse a student of education if they do not abide by the dress code. I would like to preface this by noting that I have no problem with this at all, because I acknowledge that every society needs structure put in place to work effectively.

This rule was immediately implemented on my campus, which did not affect a majority of the students as they mostly dressed modestly by default.

There was this lecturer that enforced this dress code in a manner I considered to be deeply unjust. He is a lecturer that is notorious for wielding his power against students and staff with the aid of his clever twist and exaggeration of existing rules to please his ego.

Challenging Authority Politely

On this particular day, as he was sending students —that complied to the dress code but just not how he would like them to— out of his classroom, I decided to look through the memorandum released by the Vice Chancellor because I knew there was no way it was this extreme. And I saw it, a majority of the reasons he was denying students did not count as dress code violations but as a passage to use his power in the classroom against the interest of those who had come to learn from him.

So as politely as I could, I asked for his attention, stating that a number of the violating students were innocent. Now in a bid to embarrass me and the foundation of my stance, he asked me to defend my stance for the whole class to hear. As I stood, there were students that made very loud comments of me doing too much, which was quite ironic seeing as I was speaking on an issue that affected our sole reason for being gathered in the same room —our education.

By my unfaultable logic, confidence, attention to detail, and dare I say grace from God, the unmovable force was moved to relax on his extremities when applying the dress code.

The Story just begins

Please stay with me here because that is not where this story ends, this is where it begins.

After this incident, I earned the nickname ‘Advocate’ from him—which I liked to be honest. A few classes after this, he convicted another student of violating the school dress code and immediately turned to me to get my judgement on the matter, but I decided to remain diplomatic on that issue. After some time had passed, he asked me where I think all the women that advocate for their rights end up. And innocently, I answered "at the top"—because that is where they do end up. And his reply to this was "they end up unmarried, nobody wants to marry them because they know their rights. And nobody will marry you." This was right before he clearly and openly stated that he waiting for me to fall into his trap one day. Hinting that he is waiting for me to slip up in the slightest way for him to 'justifiably' punish me for my past 'sins.'

As I recount this, I laugh with so much rage and amusement. Because, going by his actions, I cannot tell if he is fascinated that a young woman can be so bold to oppose him and be unshaken, or that he genuinely hates my guts for challenging his authority. But I have a few things to say to this man and also the general public on the statement he made above.

Let’s get a few things straight.

1. Do you think you can threaten me to silence with marriage. It is quite laughable and also insulting to think that such a measly tactic would work. I mean, you have been quite learned for few decades now, I'm sure you can come up with more creative ways to silence me rather than the threat of a man not wanting me.

2. If all men were to be as blindly egotistic as you, I think I will live just fine with being excused from the marriage pool.

3. Who the fuck died and gave you dictatorship over my life? Who gave you a wand to weave the direction of my life in ways that please you? You seem to forget that the power you hold over my head does not extend beyond these university walls. So I say to you, how dare you speak on a future that has nothing to do with you whatsoever; because your little ego was bruised by a scrawny young woman with a loud mouth? You forget that it is MY future, and it is what ME and MY God wills for it that will happen.

And to the young man that said "Go ahead and post this too on your WhatsApp status" trying to use shame to limit how I speak using my social media platform. I am posting it on all my platforms for you to see. My voice will continuously ring in your head for as long as I can speak.